It probably does not surprise you to learn that complaints to the US Department of Transportation about airlines have exploded. In 2018 there were 15,342 complaints and in 2022 there were 60,732. Complaints have quadrupled, even though passenger traffic fell by 88 million passengers during that period.[1] You also know the nature of those complaints—lost bags, late flights, rude passengers, rude staff, cancellations, delays getting refunds. This doesn’t count complaints sent directly to the airlines. Add to this the litany of YouTube videos of out-of-control passengers, and you might wonder if taking a trip by air is even worth it anymore.
Airline frustrations are just a symptom of a society where frustration in general is at all-time highs. We have lost our patience as a nation. And we have also lost in many cases the ability to simply be polite and civil to others. There used to be a certain formality in public, an expected courtesy in behavior and speech that regarded people with respect. The root of civility is a biblical quality for all people, including leaders: kindness. Ephesians 4:32 instructs us simply: “Be kind to one another…”
To be kind is to be friendly, generous and considerate. Other positive characteristics branch off from kindness: empathy, sincerity, thoughtfulness, acceptance, helpfulness. We’re all afraid of being called racist, homophobic or bigoted, but it seems nobody is concerned about being called unkind. However, kindness may be a revolutionary tool for your life and leadership. Most people want to be thought of as kind, and the reality of today’s culture is that a kind person will stand out from the crowd. Kindness has become a rare commodity. Consider how focusing on kindness might revolutionize your leadership:
Genuine interest in others gets their attention. In order to be kind, you have to focus on the people you want to be kind to. That means less focus on yourself, your wants, your needs. It means finding satisfaction in learning about other people. When you begin to really study other people, you’ll find nearly everyone has deep concerns, troubles, problems they are dealing with. Genuine interest starts with kind conversation. How are you today? What is troubling you? Just listening intently will be a surprisingly kind gesture to most people. One of the most effective forms of psychotherapy is talking. Spending time with a professional therapist helps relieve stress, anxiety, depression, because sharing your troubles is an excellent coping mechanism. You don’t have to be a professional, though, to take an interest in others’ lives. Be kind enough to ask questions, express concern, and then just listen.
Genuine care for others gives them an example. True kindness isn’t all talk. To be kind you must act in a kind manner. This means deferring your own preferences and desires and deriving joy from serving others. Kindness starts with simple things: holding the door open for the next person, giving someone else the right-of-way at a stop sign. Sometimes kindness costs a little. Some of those airline complaint videos are of people being asked to change their seat with a family not seated together or a mom unable to comfort a crying baby during the flight. The comments on the videos shout “Unfair!”, “I wouldn’t do it!”, “You paid good money for that seat!” One has to wonder, though, why there is no race to be kind to those in need or distress? Be kind enough to diffuse difficulties and relieve stress with meaningful actions that show that you care about other people.
Genuine love for others lets them experience grace. It is impossible to be kind if you do not have love for people. The challenge of kindness is that it is demonstrated especially to those who are not kind or loving in return. Jesus told us to love others in this way. Luke 6:35 reminds us, “Love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil.” As a leader, can you now take this most difficult step, and be kind in circumstances that not only do not benefit you, but where no thanks or appreciation is given?
Being kind is not easy. Grace is greatest expression of kindness. Grace is goodwill extended, unmerited favor toward another. Grace is the entire basis of the Christian faith, and God’s greatest expression of love and kindness toward people. We are sinners, evil in the sight of God and deserving of deadly punishment for our wrongs. Yet, as Romans 5:8 proclaims, “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners Christ died for us.” The great challenge of kindness for a leader is the same challenge God Himself faced when He gave us His Son as a sacrifice: He did it knowing many people wouldn’t accept it. But because of Christ, the faith-centered leader can express love and grace toward others. With Jesus living in us we have the ability to obey Colossians 3:12 and “Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience…”
Imagine a culture in which leaders expressed genuine interest in others, cared for them, and loved them enough to give grace in all kinds of circumstances. What a powerful expression of leadership that would be. What it difference it would make in the lives of people who came into contact with those leaders. And what an impactful example those leaders would make of the spiritual power of love and grace to move people and change lives.
[1] https://www.cbsnews.com/news/airline-complaints-rising-us-pirg-report/
Cover photo: Shutterstock
To be kind is to be friendly, generous and considerate. Other positive characteristics branch off from kindness: empathy, sincerity, thoughtfulness, acceptance, helpfulness. Kindness may be among your most powerful leadership tools.