Do you engage in habits in work and life that are negatively affecting your ability to lead? These five can be truly toxic, robbing you of your best effort, undermining your decisions, clouding your vision and distracting you from reaching your goals. Consider if you are participating in any of these, and if so, resolve to quit:
1. Comparison. Do you look to others’ successes, possessions or status when considering where you are in life? Comparison breed envy, lowers your self-confidence, leads to depression and erodes our trust in others. Comparison is also inaccurate, because we never know the challenges and issues others face when we compare ourselves to them.
The solution is simple—if you must compare, then look only to yourself. Are you better off than you were a year ago? Are you closer to your goals and objectives? Is your status helping you as a leader? Are the things in your life bringing you closer to your family and others or separating you through the hubris of status? Don’t allow comparison to rob you of genuine personal progress in the areas most important to you.
Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ. Galatians 1:10
2. Overspending. Credit is a curse, especially when we spend beyond our means. Ample research shows we tend to spend much more using a credit card than when using cash. A 2016 study by the Federal Reserve of Boston found the average consumer cash transaction was $22, compared to $112 for non-cash transactions, a 409% increase![1] McDonald’s once reported that its average ticket was $7 when people used credit cards versus $4.50 for cash.[2] The average person has three credit cards and the average debt on credit cards per person is $5,525.[3]
Break the overspending habit by (1) taking out small amounts of cash, at a time to spend, and (2) setting a budget for your spending before leaving the house—for groceries, entertainment, eating out, etc. You will be surprised how much less you spend if you think, “I only have $52 in my wallet” or “My limit in the store today is $225.”
Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for whoever loves others has fulfilled the law. Romans 13:8
3. Expecting the worst. Being a pessimist as opposed to an optimist can stunt your leadership potential. Pessimists tend to have a greater stress level and fewer coping skills. They also tend to look both backwards and forwards in life with more negativity and have a lesser degree of overall life satisfaction.[4]
Resolve instead to be an optimist. When faced with situations and challenges, think about how you can use your strengths to positively affect the outcome. Also, note the company that you keep. Pessimism flourishes in an environment filled with pessimistic people. Look for optimists to hang out with. Consider too that tomorrow is another day—when today turns negative, remind yourself that you can begin positively again in the morning. Have I not commanded you?
Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:9
4. Gossip. Pope Francis does not mince words, likening gossip to violence. “Gossipers are terrorists because with their tongues they drop a bomb and then leave, and the bomb they drop destroys reputations everywhere.”[5] We like to gossip because of the status—I know something about someone that you don’t know. But gossip is negative, tearing down others instead of building them up. Giving people a reason to question others’ decisions and choices. And giving them a reason to question your integrity.
Instead, pursue conversations that mean something. Don’t speak negatively of others. Don’t say things are aren’t helpful and consider whether your intention in speaking at all is healthy. Finally, speak only from your own experience and not through the eyes or supposed thoughts of others.
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. Ephesians 4:29
5. Not following through. A leader’s word is his bond. To make a promise or commitment and not complete it is a breach of trust. Research from the University of Chicago confirms that broken promises on the part of a leader erodes trust, severs relationships and creates animosity between employers and employees.[6] As a leader you simply cannot afford not to follow through on your commitments. You may get away with letting someone down once or twice. But the consequences can be deep and enduring if you go back on your promises too often, whether or not it's intentional. Researchers Epley and Ayelet Gneezy comment, “Promises can be hard to keep, and promise makers should spend their effort keeping them wisely.”
In order to keep promises, be well organized—don’t make commitments impulsively but instead write them down, along with a plan and timeframe. Don’t overpromise. People will be happy if you just keep your promise, even if it’s more modest. And be sincere. If circumstances beyond your control impact your promise, acknowledge this and apologize. Others will appreciate knowing you want to guard your reputation and good name.[7]
Do not be quick with your mouth, do not be hasty in your heart to utter anything before God. God is in heaven and you are on earth, so let your words be few. Ecclesiastes 5:2
[1] https://www.nerdwallet.com/article/credit-cards/credit-cards-make-you-spend-more
[2] http://usatoday30.usatoday.com/money/industries/food/2004-07-22-cashless_x.htm
[3] https://www.bankrate.com/finance/credit-cards/states-with-most-credit-card-debt/
[4] https://www.verywellmind.com/is-it-safer-to-be-a-pessimist-3144874
[5] https://grottonetwork.com/navigate-life/relationships/how-to-stop-gossiping-tips/
[6] https://www.ehstoday.com/safety-leadership/article/21916425/leadership-keeping-a-promise-is-worth-more-than-exceeding-it
[7] https://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/keeping-your-word.htm
When we celebrate on July 4 now, 245 years and as many political reinterpretations later, it begs the question, “What freedom are we celebrating?” Christ brings us a clear and meaningful definition of freedom that transcends our July 4 celebration.