Leadership is ultimately about your impact and influence on other people. Leading in sales is reaching a goal. Leading in golf is ranking by score. Leading in life is fulfilling a purpose. If your desire is to be first, then grab a book, take a class or hire a coach. But if you want to lead, then begin by building relationships that matter.
At Friday Morning Men’s Fellowship we focus on leadership development at a table. We know a table as a flat surface with legs that we use for eating, meeting, making and so forth. The Old Testament (Hebrew) word for table is shulchan, which means a flat board, slab or tablet. But the use of a table was more significant in the Bible. In ancient times, a table was a place of presence. God was present with His people and people were present with one another. Jesus spent important times in His ministry on earth at a table. The table was a place of goodwill, harmony, family. It was a place of gathering, of conversation, of negotiation and reconciliation.
In the ancient tabernacle and then the temple, there was placed a Table of Shewbread, representing God’s presence. This is the first mention of the word “table” in the Bible (Exodus 25:23-30, Leviticus 24:5-9). The name translated means table of the face.
The Jewish Passover is a time of remembrance of God’s deliverance of His people from slavery in Egypt. Passover is a special meal commemorated around a table (Exodus 12:14-28).
When Jesus met with Pharisees, lawyers, women, lepers, Lazarus, and Zacchaeus the tax collector, He reclined at a table (Luke 7:36, Matthew 26:7, Mark 14:3, Luke 11:37, John 12:2).
Jesus’ final instructions to His disciples before His arrest, trial and death happened at a table on Passover night (Matthew 26:26-27).
A table might not seem like a foundation for developing as a man, a husband, a father, a leader, but it is! You become a leader through developing meaningful relationships, and you develop meaningful relationships by spending time with people. You become healthy through a few hours a week working at the gym. You become wealthy through a few hours a week managing your budget and savings. But you become wise through a few hours a week of faith-filled relationships. Learning who and how to lead starts with sitting across from other men in study, discussion and mentoring on a regular basis.
Friday Morning Men’s Fellowships gather at tables each week around the world to learn, live and lead.
The hour you spend each week at a table with 4-5 men may be among the most important you invest in becoming the leader you were meant to be. Friday Morning Men’s Fellowships have been meeting around tables for over 40 years. Here are three insights we have found from developing leaders at a table:
We grow through learning about one another. The Proverbs speak strongly of our influence on one another. Proverbs 9:9 teaches, “Give instruction to a wise man, and he will be still wiser; teach a righteous man, and he will increase in learning.” And in Proverbs 13:20 we learn, “Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise…” Through relationships we can find wisdom, which is a combination of knowledge and experience. We not only learn what others know, but we learn by what they do (and don’t do). This is why relational learning is key to leading.
We grow through living out the Scriptures. When we study and apply the Bible, we are gaining leadership instruction from the Creator Himself. God teaches us how to live out His purpose and design for us through our relationships and work. 2 Timothy 3:16-17 reminds us, “All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work.” The Bible is not a training reference. It is a living guide for leaders.
We grow by leading in marriage, home, workplace, and the community. Leadership has an objective. Good leadership is becoming an exceptional and positive influence in all facets of life. When you know how to lead, it will affect everyone in your sphere of influence, beginning with your spouse, children and the rest of your household and extended family, and then beyond to your workplace and the surrounding community. We don’t become better leaders to get ahead at work. We develop as leaders to be better men.
In today’s frantic culture, meaningful relationships don’t just happen. They take intention and work. In order to become better men and better leaders, we need regular opportunities to sit across from others, look them in the eye, listen to their words and ask questions of them and of ourselves. As we grow to adulthood, our very nature is to learn through other people. We develop our vocabulary. We learn to read expressions and body language. We learn to value time with others, a smile, a genuine interest. You can’t accomplish this through a phone screen. To lead people you must know them.
A table is a sacrificial means of development. You’ll have to show hospitality, invest time with people, and focus on knowing and serving others. If you want to lead, start by inviting a few people to join you, pull up a chair, and begin with a conversation. In the New Testament, Christians are told to remember Jesus’ death on the cross by gathering regularly at a table for the Lord’s Supper. Our modern word for table comes from the Latin word mensa, meaning “altar top”. It is no wonder that Jesus selected a table as a place where believers were to gather and commemorate His gift of redemption. If you are ready to become a better man and leader, consider a small group gathering around a table as the most effective means to do so.
“What did the EKG say?” I asked the nurse. “Oh baby,” she said, “You’re having a heart attack!” This is a true story about being in the right place at the right time.