We encourage everyone to wear a nametag at their Men’s Table. This encourages us to address each other by name, and helps new men learn the others at their table.
Calling people by name is a fundamental act of respect and dignity. It’s the first thing we ask someone when we meet them. And quite often, it’s a minor embarrassment when we see them a second time and can’t recall their name. We brush this off—after all isn’t everyone busy and engaged and how can we possibly remember everyone we come into contact with? But if we’re honest, when someone doesn’t remember us, it flips a little switch in our minds and we label the thoughts of the person regarding us—“unimportant”.[1]
So nametags are more than just a courtesy. They help us build rapport and trust, and signal that we value each other enough to know names. Psychologists who have studied this also tell us that calling someone by name gives them a sense not only of worth, but of power—it puts them in the driver’s seat of the relationship. When you say, “Bob, would you mind reading the next Bible verse for us?” or “Thomas, what is something that challenges you about our conversation today?” those names convey the worth of what they are about to say. And it keeps us from being vague, coming off as fake and invasive.[2]
Many years ago, one of our men came up with the idea of writing their name on a clothespin, which they could retrieve each week from a box and clip it to their lapel. They were simple, cheap, reusable, and didn’t leave a residue on clothing like a sticker-type tag would. Today you can buy large-size clothespins in bulk, already painted white, which makes it easy for one to write and read the name. A permanent fine-tip marker like a Sharpie works best to write the name. You can order them from Amazon.com (click here).
A reusable nametag is also a great reminder for the table leader of men who haven’t come in a while. Once a month, rifle through your nametag box and pull out the ones who you haven’t seen in several weeks. Make a point to contact them by phone to see how they’re doing and if they need any support or encouragement.
As you launch and grow your Men’s Table, find a system for nametags and make this a regular practice in your group. As you facilitate discussion, make it a point to use men’s names as you go around the table. When you model the importance of names, this will “rub off” on the others at the table, and you’ll find the group grows closer as they know one another—by name.
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