Fulfillment is the happiness or satisfaction that comes from developing one’s own abilities or character. A leader who knows his talents and skills are being put to good use and that he is growing personally and professionally has the mindset that he is stewarding his life well. But that is the exception, as most leaders go through life unfulfilled. There’s the nagging feeling that something is missing, potential is unrealized, that the leader isn’t living at his best.

Scripture often talks of man’s desire to be fulfilled, and the persistent dissatisfaction that many feel. Ecclesiastes 1:8 states it outright: “All things are wearisome; Man is not able to tell it. The eye is not satisfied with seeing, nor is the ear filled with hearing.” And again in Ecclesiastes 6:7: “All a man’s labor is for his mouth and yet the appetite is not satisfied.” How does a leader get off the treadmill of dissatisfaction and find real and lasting fulfillment? Consider these three steps:

Discern what is important. Fulfillment first comes from pursuing something that is important. Many leaders never stop long enough to determine what their purpose is in life, or what hierarchy the facets of family, work and life should take. So they end up constantly busy but with little or no objective progress to show for it. The Bible echoes this empty life that many leaders live in Ecclesiastes 2:10-11: “I denied myself nothing my eyes desired; I refused my heart no pleasure. My heart took delight in all my labor, and this was the reward for all my toil. Yet when I surveyed all that my hands had done and what I had toiled to achieve, everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind; nothing was gained under the sun.”

Does life feel like a hamster wheel with no progress to show for consistent effort? You can begin identifying areas of life that are important—those which bring you meaning and purpose. Think about elements like family, friends, relationships, income, health, faith, rewarding work, talents and abilities, influence, security. Rank these and form a list of 2-3 top items that bring you the most fulfillment. If you can’t identify any that bring you joy, then seek counsel and consider that a change of direction or vocation may be in order.

Learn to focus. Maybe you know what is important in your life and leadership, but have difficulty devoting time to it. An unfocused life can also be an unfulfilled life. Proverbs 4:25 teaches us to focus: “Let your eyes look straight ahead; fix your gaze directly before you.” Our culture tells us that we can multitask—we have thousands of messages and decisions pass before us every day. The reality though is that we were made for focus and function best when we engage on one thing at a time.

Focus is a series of disciplines and skills you can learn and apply. Begin with a good nights’ sleep. Schedule your day, giving important areas adequate time. Eliminate distractions. Avoid the temptation to pick up your smartphone every time it dings. Instead, set aside short break times and time for the phone. Get out into nature each day. Finally, whatever is right in front of you, give it your full attention—and this includes your spouse and children!

Invest in important relationships. As a spiritual being created by God, you were made for relationships. You will never be truly fulfilled in isolation. God made you with senses and a mind that must interact with other people to be healthy. We know that loneliness and social isolation leads to health problems like heart disease, depression and cognitive decline.[1] It is unlikely you will find lasting fulfillment apart from meaningful relationships with other people.

The Bible is filled with instruction on the importance of relationships. Philippians 2:3 says, “Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.” Putting others first implies we know the people around us and value them. Valuing others means giving them time and attention, learning about them and their interests, extending love and care to them and considering their needs before your own. The result, mental health experts tell us, is that you will feel good, develop a sense of satisfaction and increase trust with others—all elements of a fulfilling life.

[1] https://www.nia.nih.gov/health/loneliness-and-social-isolation-tips-staying-connected

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